In phenomena normally associated with a Lovecraft or Lustbader novel, Autozone across the nation stopped functioning for an entire week as Thanksgiving holiday side-effects dropped employees everywhere into marshmallow topped yam miasma, or even into full-fledged food comes after at store celebrations.
“Normally, we usually only see small outbreaks, due to cookies and turkey sandwiches, but, with food delivery services now so prominent we fear all service industries will be affected.”, stated Professor Carl Bernard, of Langston A&M of West Virginia.
Other outbreaks noted hit Best Buy’s Geek Squad, multiple Ashley furniture, and a chain of Kwik-E-Marts along the eastern seaboard.
” All we can do is wait for the New Year to pass and wait for the first three months of the year to pick-up as resolutions are taken up by the populace,” added Professor Challenger, ” after then it’s any bodies guess on what happens.”