Chuck Norris, actor, writer, martial arts star and the most powerful man in the universe will be appearing at Houston’s Comicpalooza during the weekend of May 12th through the 14th. To celebrate the arrival of the human force of nature, here are some of the best nerd based Chuck Norris jokes available.
Superman vs. Chuck Norris
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite.
Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
Kryptonite is Chuck Norris’ birthstone.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
Superman and Chuck Norris once had an arm wrestling contest. The loser had to wear their underpants on the outside.
Chuck Norris vs. Superheroes
Chuck Norris once had a yard sale of his old childhood items such as his baby rattle, frisbee, and his class ring. We know these lucky buyers as Thor, Captain America, and the Green Lantern
Thor’s hammer was forged by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once tapped Captain America’s shield to get a feel for it. It shattered into 365 billion pieces.
Chuck Norris is so fast, Batman gets spooked out when he suddenly disappears from the room.
Chuck Norris is Wolverine’s favorite X-Man.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris vs. Sci Fi
In space, no one can hear you scream….. apart from Chuck Norris. He hears everything!
Chuck Norris can wear a red shirt on the original Star Trek and live. Every time.
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon from a landline.
Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars?.. He was the force.
Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s butt halfway through the first chapter.
And if those jokes don’t confirm Mr. Norris’s nerd cred, he once had his own cartoon. Check it out.
Comicpalooza is the largest comic con in Texas. Held annually in Houston, Tx, at the George R. Brown convention center, it sports top actors, comic artists, writers, and voice actors from all parts of fantastic media.