Between the years of nineteen-eighty to nineteen-ninety, some of the manliest movies of all time were released to the public. Manly men showed manly emotions and manly feats of manliness to carve out their legend into the hall of manliness for all mankind. Look onto this article and be amazed by the manliness herein.
In 1984, Robert Urich, star of stage, small and big screens agreed to do the movie, Ice Pirates, and we still don’t know why.
Ice Pirates co-starring Mary Crosby (Princess Karina), Michael D. Roberts (Roscoe, Jason’s second-in-command), Anjelica Huston (Maida, Amazonian Pirate Queen, who may also be second in command), John Matuszak (Killjoy, troublesome crew member), Ron Perlman (Zeno, yes that Ron Perlman), and John Carradine (Supreme Commander).
Ice Pirates at times could not decide if it was a comedy, swashbuckling escapism, a parody movie, or romantic fare. However, through it all Robert Urich’s Captain Jason seems to approach all areas with great swagger or manly sensitivity.
Manly movie action sequence- They make fun of robots a lot in this movie, and it seems in this movie universe to get good robots, you have to spend the ice cubes, or cold cash, or whatever. So, Jason trying to get one of their not-too-bright fighting robots to work correctly fights the bad guys on the ship, their high-powered robot warriors, and teaches a robot to fight, not too shabby from the former Mister Dan Tanna.
Manly stare and glare action- With this out-of-the-way scene, the crew along with Princess Karina, played by Mary Crosby, go to a desert planet to find help looking for a fabled planet of water. In a weird Mad Max-style scene, they have to escape from a crew of ugly, leather and metal clad meanies to help their found help. Of course, Captain Jason has to take a moment to stare down the bad guys.
Manly love moment for manly hero-Jason and a few of his crew find the sleeping Princess in stasis, originally planning to leave her behind, Jason, who became smitten, at first sight, offers his love.
Manly moment of sensitivity-In order to get help on the desert planet that have stopped on, Jason is impressed upon to snuggle up to the City Maintenace Manager, who also happens to be an alien frog lady. Jason, being the sensitive guy he is, give the lady complment and is manly enough to take the mild amphibious flirting she throws his way.
Manly moment of manliness-Our stalwart hero, who has endured an angry space princess, robot armies, unruly crew members, and angry overlord types scream like a little girl when he almost becomes, unmanlied.
Manly epic moment of conclusion-Being pushed through a time warp to find the water planet, Captain Jason, fights until he’s an old man, then Robert Urich then plays his own, um, full-grown son? Okay. And helps the crew become victorious, that is until they leave the time warp, and it all resets. Or something.
Manliness on a scale of Jean Claude VanDamme (Kickboxer) to Sho Kosugi (Revenge Of The Ninja)-Four out of Five Sho’s for the simple fact that Captain Jason showed swagger and sensitivity throughout the film whilst continuing to deal with this look from the Princess:
