Dear J.J. Abrams, Henry Abrams, Sara Pichelli, and Nick Lowe
I’m not sure this will ever reach you as I’m just a lowly internet critic, but we need to talk about Spider-Man #1. Don’t worry, I’m not going to decry this latest offering from Marvel Comics as the “worst comic ever!” Nor will I declare it the “greatest comic book of all time!” either. Unlike most of the internet, I don’t purposefully exaggerate my emotions just to get more clicks. But neither am I one of those sycophantic comic book reviewers who write glowing reviews just to get their foot in the door of their favorite publisher. So believe me when I say that Spider-Man #1 isn’t all bad, nor all good. It’s just mediocre.
Now J.J. and Henry, I realize a lot of flak came your way when you announced this project. There were accusations of nepotism, especially from comic book professionals, who didn’t appreciate how a famous Hollywood director got his son a gig working on an A-list superhero title while they’ve been struggling for years. Personally, I see nothing wrong with a father helping with his son’s career. Also, despite your youth and inexperience, Henry, you do have a lot of talent. Unfortunately, based on the final product, I’m afraid those cries of nepotism will not be going away any time soon.
For starters, there’s the plot of this comic. In true “Mystery Box” fashion, you guys billed this as a Spider-Man and Mary Jane story. Turns out it’s not about them at all. In fact, within the first ten pages, during an attack by the new villain, Cadaverous, Peter Parker loses an arm and Mary Jane dies. No, it turns out this comic is really about their son, Ben, and how he becomes the new Spider-Man. This also means this series isn’t in-continuity but another one of those “possible future” books.
Now pardon if I act like a fanboy here, but you two aren’t exactly breaking new ground with this comic. You’ve heard of Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz’s Spider-Girl, right? Well, it’s pretty much the same as this, except it’s about Peter and MJ’s daughter. Peter’s career as Spider-Man ends when he loses a limb in that story, too. The only difference is MJ is still alive. By the way, you do realize that killing off the male superhero’s female love interest–particularly when it involves a villain throwing them off a bridge–is an overdone cliché, right?
This wouldn’t be so bad if Ben Parker II wasn’t such a bland character. Unfortunately, he comes off as your stereotypical emo high schooler. You know, the one who acts all tough and mopey when, deep down, he has a good heart? The kind of protagonist we’ve seen in every young adult novel and movie series since Harry Potter? And yes, I know he has his reasons for being bitter and rebellious, what with his mom dead and his workaholic dad barely at home. That’s still no reason for you to not at least try and make Ben a little more interesting, is it?
And speaking of Ben’s dad, way to wreck Peter Parker, Mr. “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility,” as a character, guys. Even if he can’t be Spider-Man anymore, even if he grieves the loss of his wife, would he really give up not finding ways to be a hero? Would he dump his parental responsibilities onto his Aunt May? Then again, this wouldn’t fit your narrative about what it’s like growing up in the shadow of a famous dad who, for work-related reasons, barely stays at home. Now that I think about it, Peter and Ben’s father-son relationship sounds rather semi-autobiographical minus the dead mom. Am I reading too much into that, J.J. and Henry?
Don’t get me wrong, there are a few things you two are doing right with Spider-Man #1. Your portrayal of Aunt May as a surrogate grandmother for Ben is spot on. Also, although I gripe about Ben’s characterization, his dialogue does authentically read like than of a young person. It shows that you both at least understand how to portray people as people, despite them also being types
As for you, Sara Pichelli, your art looks great as always. Your subjects have a relaxed, naturalistic grace not often found in most comic art. Yet there’s also a bit of a sketchy, unfinished look to them, too. Perhaps it from the way you, along with Elizabeth D’Amico, apply your inks, and that the hatching and speed lines are very noticeable. Or it could because your colleague, Dave Stewart, makes your panels look like they’re done watercolor, and thus aren’t as sharp as they could be. Whatever the reason, you could’ve polished it up a bit.
As for you, Nick Lowe, pardon my skepticism regarding what you wrote in the “Webs and Words” section about J.J. and Henry’s first script. You thought it was “terrific?” Really? Because how is Spider-Man #1 not like every other story about superhero’s kid inherits their parent’s mantle? How is Ben not like every other depiction of a young loner in practically every pop culture media now? How is this not just a generic story that wouldn’t otherwise get any attention or praise if J.J. Abrams’ name didn’t have his name attached to it? Because frankly, I just don’t see it.
Even so, J.J., Henry, Sara, and Nick, you guys still have five more issues. Maybe that will give you guys enough time to change my mind. For right now, pardon me for saying that the new Spider-Man #1 is nothing more than an overrated, run-of-the-mill, bait-and-switch, cash grab.
Sincerely,
Mike McNulty, a.k.a. Stillanerd.
Stillanerd’s Nerdy Nitpicks
- Really? A single black page with a word balloon reading “Tiger?” You couldn’t think of some other way to fill out the page count, guys?
- Regarding the character design for Cadaverous and his minions, it looks like some watched the Alien movies and Atila: Battle Angel one too many times.
- “Ggetttttt Hiiiiimmmm!” Oh, I can’t wait to see what happens next! Wait? It cuts to MJ’s funeral six days later? What happened to Cadaverous? Don’t tell me Spider-Man stopped him and saved the day off-panel!
- Nice to know that, in twelve years time, bullies will once again be acting like Biff Tannen from Back to the Future. Even dress like them, too.
- I know I’m not the only one to point this out, but how did Peter Parker, over the next twelve years, turn into Keanu Reeves?
- Wow, Aunt May. I know bodies sag when they age, but you really need to lay off your own wheat cakes.
- Methinks “I’m too cool and socially aware for this school” was too long of a name for Ben’s potential new love interest. Hence why the comic calls her “Ito Faye,” instead. Though I guess Ben needs this potential love interest like Ito to make up for the comic’s earlier “women in refrigerators” blunder with Mary Jane.
- As some friends of mine pointed out, it looks like Cadaverous real name is Mr. Freeze. Or at least he’s borrowing that Batman villain cryogenics status pod.
- Oh, look! Creepy dreams involving a dead character covered in blood. As if we already couldn’t figure out that Ben feels guilty over his mom’s death. Even though, since he was probably three or four when she died, he has no reason to.
- Even though this is an out-of-canon story, is this telling us that, in canon, Aunt May knew about Peter all along? Please.
