Between the years of nineteen-eighty to nineteen-ninety, some of the manliest movies of all time were released to the public. Manly men showed manly emotions and manly feats of manliness to carve out their legend into the hall of manliness for all mankind. Look at this article and be amazed by the manliness herein namely the manliness of American Ninja!
The year is 1985, the recently released G.I. Joe cartoon and toy line have made a serious dent in pop culture and parent’s pocketbooks in just two short years. Although an animated film was already being talked about, no live-action movies were ever made at that point. Or were they?
Enter American Ninja, starring Michael Dudikoff as Pvt. Joe T. Armstrong (the American Ninja of the title), Steve James as Cpl. Curtis Jackson (Joe’s buddy and partner in butt-kicking), and Phil Brock as Pvt. Charley Madison (staff driver and all around know it all), these three show why this could have been the greatest Joe film that never was.
Although Dudikoff is the lead actor, Steve James steals scenes from almost everyone else in frame with. This is a great example of the late actor’s charisma he carries throughout several action titles of the eighties and nineties. However, James as Curtis Jackson should have had his own figure in the G.I. Joe line.
In this film, we have our troubled, partially amnesiac loner, Joe Armstrong utilizing martial arts and other skills he didn’t know he had to take on corrupt Army officials, mercenaries, and you guessed it, evil ninjas.
Manly movie action sequence- Towards the beginning of the movie, Joe is driving for an equipment convoy, that includes transport for the base colonel’s daughter. They get hijacked and while the other soldiers, who are not all armed are being pushed around, Joe, coming to the ladies’ rescue, utilizes a plethora of martial arts skills in the most plastic-faced way possible. An action figure comes to life.
Manly stare and glare action- Joe’s friends, whom he doesn’t seem to want, plan a secret date for him and the Colonel’s daughter. As they ride back to base on a motorcycle, and having been just discovered by the crooked Master Sargent, (John La Motta as Master Sgt. Rinaldo) and the arms smuggler behind several hijackings, Joe seems unfazed, even while the aforementioned daughter (Judie Aronson playing Patricia Hickock) is riding behind him on the motorcycle. He maintains a manly glare, even in the wind.
Manly love moment for manly hero-At the obligatory fight scene at the end of the movie, Joe has done rescued his damsel from the evil Black Star Ninja, and a fleeing bad guy from a helicopter, (ninjas versus helicopters was an 80’s movies staple for some reason), he then gently drops her into the arms of his buddy the versatile Corporal Jackson. Ahh, love.
Manly moment of sensitivity-While going solo to rescue the girl, Joe stumbles across his old mentor, Shinyuki, played by John Fujioka, and learns that an explosion affected his memory and separated them. Through Shinyuki’s ninja mind powers, Joe remembers his adoptive father, as they arm themselves with many stabby objects and prepare to take down the Black Star ninja, COBRA the enemy, and the other ninjas. Just kidding bout COBRA.
Manly moment of manliness- Corporal Curtis Jackson had several that just elevated the crazy level. From martial arts combat to laser bazookas, the manliness unleashed by Jackson could have been the basis for an 80’s G.I. Joe live-action franchise.
Manly epic moment of conclusion-Joe’s epic fight with The Black Star Ninja, who has no other name in the movie, why was he never a COBRA action figure, This bad guy played by, Tadashi Yamashita, has a gadget-filled gauntlet that includes a zip gun, a flame thrower, and even a laser. Joe survives them all and stops the Black Star Ninja.
Manliness on a scale of Jean Claude VanDamme (Kickboxer) to Sho Kosugi (Revenge Of The Ninja)-
With Joe’s plastic-faced kindness towards the base commander’s daughter and his adoptive father, after spending the first half of the movie being a jerk, going to have to give these two and a half Sho’s.
And just for fun, here’s Joe stuffing a guy into a trash can, ninja style.
