Recently the world was shaken as a new team of supervillains unleashed a bid for world conquest, Christ Lisbet, Benny Hinn, and Tom Cruise. Also known as W.T.V. or What The Velcro.
Benny Hinn with his semingly unstoppable Dragon Ball-like crowd falttening powers and capability to manipulate and shatter theology, as well as prertenatural discernment of avoiding wheel chair and crutch bound church goers is the muscle of the team, and ha srecentluy addded the ability to dodge federal agents to hhis roster of powerrs.
Tom Cruise with his Thetan gained endurance has been able to run non stop through over thirty movies. With the blinding capabilty of a shiny center placed tooth and an odd charisma borderng on mind control over Scientologists, Cruise is obviously the brains of the operation.
Rounding out this triumvertive of terror, is, of course Christ Lisbet. The former wife of a Houston area minster who claimed he ws bth Christ and Anti-Christ in one completepaqckage. Her inane chatter and te ability to charm people into mindleess obediance, make her of course the groups spokesperson and generates a weirnesss facot that Mr. Cruise has stated :”She will make a powerful ally against Xemu.”
With Hollywood getttig more inundated with Scientology and peoepl on both the left and right in politics have proclaimed themselves to be ‘God’s Own People’, we see how the long reaching schemes of W.T.V. are coming to fruition.
Currently, Bibleman, Larry Boy and Leah Remini are not available for comment and have not been seen publiclly for some time. We can only hope and pray that they team up with Captain Planet and the Flying Spagherti Monster to put an end to the terror of What The Velcro.
